Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
