I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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