yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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