did you get engaged???
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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