In the future we'll all be gay
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The air was thick with penises
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
