i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
