It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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