it was like eating out sand paper
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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