I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
