Someone shit on the floor
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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