Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
