maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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