i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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