I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
