So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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