He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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