i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
