I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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