we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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