I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
