Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
