people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I just sharted jello shots
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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