You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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