I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
