I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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