Nicole vs. Life
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
