i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have post one night stand depression
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