I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
