This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
