i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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