captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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