Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
