I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
