my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
