we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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