Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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