Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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