YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
