I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
