oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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