Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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