The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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