Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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