Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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