very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
