Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
