I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
