Can Purell be used as lube?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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