But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
