I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
