i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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