he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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