I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize