so explain again why im purple
no
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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