Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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