Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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