First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
honey bunches of taint.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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