so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
