remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
