thus making me awesome and them whores
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
